Ode To GrandMa

Dear Grand Ma Mima Cherifa,

I'm not sure what this post is about, am I being grateful, am I mourning my loss, what am I doing? All i wanted to do is write, my journal would'nt have been a good idea, a papaer would have been soaked in salty bitter tears... so I came here.
I've already told you about the sad news, my grandma's passing away earlier last month. It was shocking, unexpected (like all deaths are ) and very very sad. Thing about me is that i don't deal well with deaths, with somebody who just stopped existing. It doesnt make much sense to me. I know that  everything i'm saying right now goes against all my beliefs. But i'm complicated like that and i don't often make sense.
I've always thought that i was the luckiest kid in the world, i had a perfect childhood. and i'm not even exagerating, walah !
I'm my parents' first child, and my grand parents' first grandchild, i find that really cute and oh-so-special, because no matter how old I get, no matter how many children my parents will have, no matter how many grand children my grand parents will have, i will always always be the first, their first, the oldest and the special kid with whom they experienced new things and on whom they tried new things they didnt know before, and felt new things they didn't know existed.
I have so many great great memories with Mima Cherfia, and that alone makes me very happy, what comforts me is that i've known her the longest, i had my time with her that i didnt have to share with other kids, no other grand kids (cause you know they started coming 5 years later)

I love her very much and i always will, she'll always be in my heart, living forever.
I love her very much because she was the pretty blue eyed grandMa that i was/still am/always be so proud of
I love her very much because she gave me the confidence to do things on my own, at a very young age
I love her for all those summer afternoons we spent doing Henna and watching TV, our legs on cushions, giggling...
I love her because she was the one who introduced me to Hindi movies when i was about 4, it's our lil thing, and it was the last thing we watched together, Devdas...
I love her because she was always there for me, my first day at Kotteb, my first day at school, when graduated, she was there on my engagement day, she was there whenever i needed her to be
I love her because she smells like heaven, now she's in heaven
I love her , always have, and always will...

Mima, I miss you very much and all i want in this life is to be one day like you, a great funny beautiful amazing grandmother !

May you Rest In Peace Angel, Allah Yarhmek, I'll always remember you, always ya Mima la7nina ...

Cherish Your GrandMa,