Starting Over

Start over Start over Start over, the word still echoes in my Head. It feels like I am born again, "Reborn" would not be the perfect adjective to descrive my new life. Dont ask me I really do not know why. it just feels like that. I tried to define what does "Start Over" mean? ( yes I know, I could not get rid of my critical analytical checking obsession, at least not yet) and i found some interesting definitions such as :"Make a fresh start from the beginning" or "to begin a new career or way of life". both definitions relate to my situation, that means that what I am living now is a true/authentic  Start Over. 

It is still a virgin page where no one has written on it, where i get to choose its first letter, its first word, its first sentence. Sometimes ( or let's say often if not always) the cause for a Start Over is not as easy/happy/something we decide to live as you may imagine, it may be a failure, an obstacle that we could not overcome, a break up, or a bad decision ( not to mention God Forbid someone's death). Those causes/reasons may seem harsh, unfair or truly sad; but know that it can only be for a good reason for Allah is wise, and everything happens for a reason ( a good one) which leads generally to a Start Over if you are lucky(eventhough I don't believe in Luck), but then try to take it not as a loss but as a true gain, a second chance, another hope and make the best out of it. 

Start Over with the things that you have always wanted to do, the things that you did not dare to do because you were too scared to, or because someone (sometimes what you thought was your best friend) told you not to, to break your spirit and crash your dreams and ambitions. Prove those people wrong and DARE to make your new  life just like you wanted it to be. Make a List ( lists are a hobby for me ) and cross down what you have achieved. and always add more and more objectives so that it would be an excitement to live for. Make your goals and what seem to be impossible come true, for the impossble does not exist and WoMan have proved the "impossible" theory to be wrong. Believe in yourself, in those who love you and have always supported you and Love Life. Start Over... 

I say "they" , they say "they"...

This post might not look like the blog itself, optimism and such. It tells the way I  have always felt about how the world goes. How people act (including Myself).
I always say "they" have done this, "they" have done that to me, "they" are so( .....), how could "they" be (...) etc etc. however, I hear THEM say "they" too . Wait a second, if I say  "they" and "they"  say "they" , then who are "they" ?
Who Are "They", this is the question!!! but who can answer that? not me !
I, me and Myself have been suffering a lot from the "they" part; "they" do things, bad things, and I don't really react to the bad deed, but just ignore it( which is a reaction in itself! arrgh me and my paradoxes!!) and it really hurts, a lot, but then I find out that "they" say the same thing about ME ! How could that be? I am pretty sure I have done nothing to "they" and "they" are certain that I haven't been acting like a "friend", though I can say the exact same thing about "they" ( and much more). But at some point I begin to doubt Myself, saying: what IF I really did (...) to "they"? or what IF I am wrong and "they" are right ? (not possible of course). This can be  answered only when THE question is answered ; Who Are" They" ?
"they" are those who look like what you see, "they" are those who eat with you, talk to you, grow up with you, "they"  come in different shapes and packages whether as your elders, friends, uncles, cousins, people you saw once etc etc...
Maybe with time ( and Time has the power of healing) one will find it out somewhere in one's mind, or maybe Time will take a forever to do the job needed, but hey, what are we going to lose besides what we have  already lost, let's just wait to find out Who Are "They" ?

Courage is mastery of fear, not absence of fear.

Courage is resistance to fear, mastery of fear, not absence of fear.

I saw this quote in one of Reese witherspoon's movies called "How do you know" and it was mind blowing! I loved it. I might have disagreed with it 4 or 5months ago; but I agree now because my views have changed since my sister's sickness.

Courage was something very clear before, it was and I quote myself : "Dare to change when everyone else is scared of the change", it was also " courage is to be fearless" but now courage is not about daring anymore, nor about being fearless, it is as the quote says " the mastery of fear". Who are we kidding to say that one can be fearless? such word should be banned from the dictinary, because it simply is not possible for Fear is a natural feeling just like hunger or love; one cannot just ignore it or try to avoid it. That is why I have found the quote very inspiring and so true.
Courage  makes much more sense when it is about mastering fear, controlling it. It is easier to control something after recognizing its presence, same with fear: one first has to recognize its existence in order to control it, master it and it beautifully becomes that great feeling called COURAGE. "Whenever we can control our fear, we become brave". and I cannot agree more !!!!!
Nevertheless, it is easier said than done. And, those who can bring the lesson into practice are brave. As far as my life experience is concerned, I learned how to accept fear, because when faced with  a 99% possibility of death you cannot say " I am not scared" because that would be lying to yourself ( worst kind of lying) what I did was to embrace it  and I could magically control it and make it that force that made me stronger than ever. I had the courage to stand when everyone else collapsed when doctors told us that my little sister is going to die I was so scared that I would lose the one person that I love and trust, my only sister, my soul; but I had the courage to stand still knowing that YES Iam afraid but Iam magically facing it and controlling every single muscle of my body, my tears and my thoughts and I made it through the rough times, feeling the courage despite the fear which gave me (still is) Hope and everyone else around me.
Never be ashamed of feeling Fear, it is normal, natural; try rather to embrace it and then you will master it and you will come out with Courage instead.


Your opinions matter, so tell me what do you think?

Marwa, the blind optimisitc...

 

Intro

Hi everyone! 

this is really great and exciting to have a blog, my space to share my thoughts, feelings, and ideas with you dear readers! please feel free to share yours aswell by commenting on the posts.

Can't wait to see you soon...

God bless you